I found a spider with black leges and a black body typical of a black widow. But there's no red underside; only yellow "stripes" on top. Is it still a black widow? Maybe a male?
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That is a northern black widow. They have yellow stripes on top and no hourglass. They are only harmful if they bite you, they don't leave poison and aren't toxic if eaten (don't eat them though).
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Could be; a photo would be nice. Anyway, to answer your questions, no and no. You would have to be bitten, and also have the spider inject some venom (not all bites are venomous bites).
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yes it would be... because the poison would come out as you digest it.