I've had constipation for almost a week and whenever I try to poop my heart hurts

What should I do?

My suspicion is that you have pain in the cardiac area referred from the splenic flexure of the colon. To relieve constipation you might try any or a combination of an enema, stool softeners such as mineral oil or Colace, a gentle laxative such as milk of magnesia, or a stronger preparation such as GoLitely.

Once you have a good evacuation, your heart will no longer hurt. If it does, see your doctor.

Further episodes of constipation can be reduced or prevented by a diet higher in fiber.